Thursday, November 20, 2014

Worry Less; Smile More.

View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, "What was I thinking," breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, "What was I learning?"  --Karen Salmansohn

     I hope by now you are starting to see where I have been going with all these blogs..? I hope that you are realizing that all of our circumstances first occur within us. Our thoughts! And as I have stated a few blogs ago.. "It's only a thought, and a thought can be changed". Let's be kinder to ourselves. We deserve it. We owe it to ourselves. If we can't treat ourselves better how can we expect others too..?

      The Dalai Lama once said, “A new way of thinking has become the necessary condition for responsible living and acting. If we maintain obsolete values and beliefs, a fragmented consciousness and self-centered spirit, we will continue to hold onto outdated goals and behaviors.” What this means is we must continue to change our old thought patterns to suit our new circumstances. As we learn new things about our experiences we must then begin to change the way we see things. Otherwise, we will repeat old patterns. 

**Let's take a look at some thoughts we need to get out of our mind and why.

"Life sucks and that's just the way it is"
 The problem with this thinking is that our mind can be rather harsh. It's a place where many of our conflicts are carried out. It's important and a necessity to tell that harsh voice to "shut up." If we dwell on these thoughts they will manifest into reality. 
"Everyone is right about me"
Everyone is going to have an opinion. We must remember that they base those opinions on "their" experiences. No matter what anyone says, it only matters what we think about ourselves. Even if we think our life isn't perfect.. there is always something to be grateful for. Remember that!

"Life is supposed to be easy"
The only thing we should take easy in life is the negativity we have about ourselves. Nothing in life comes easy. If it's worth having then it's worth working for. 

"Giving up and starting over is a sign of failure"
Starting over is scary, but most often we owe it to ourselves to begin again. Hopefully with a new outlook and some positivity the change will go well, and you'll be off to a great start. 
It's best to try not to completely forget about our past "failures". But learn from them so you don't make the same mistake twice. 

There are many other negative thoughts we should rid our mind of, but these are a great start. With a little bit of persistence we can start to worry less, and smile more.  

Good luck!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

If They can... You definitely can!!

      I know it's really hard sometimes to get out of a funk, or even take the next step for fear of the unknown. We think we have it so bad. Life is awful! We didn't choose this for ourselves. I have heard all the complaints before. I am guilty for saying a few of those myself. But sometimes I think it's important to recognize what we have, to be grateful, and realize it could be worse, so much worse. There are so many others out there that have it worse than you and I do. So I wanted to recognize some very amazing people that despite their "handicaps" or "disabilities" or "circumstances" they still somehow knew there was so much more out there. They knew that nothing would stand in their way to go after what they wanted. And because of their positive attitudes... they achieved greatness. They created a better reality in spite of all they lacked (at least what they lacked in "our" eyes).

Here are a few that are very well known in history:

Helen Keller
She was an American author, political activist. She was the first deaf and blind person to earn a college degree. Her story was famously portrayed in the play and film, The Miracle Worker, which documented how her teacher Anne Sullivan was finally able to develop a language that Helen could understand.
She wrote a total of 12 published books, including her spiritual autobiography, My Religion, and was also a member of the Socialist Party in America. She also campaigned heavily for women’s rights and other labor rights.

Stephen Hawking
He is one of the most well-known physicists in the world, and he was able to achieve that in spite of being diagnosed with ALS when he was 21.
He can now only speak with the assistance of a computer and has been a fulltime powerchair-user since the 1980s. But, his disability, has never been an excuse to give up on his desire to study the universe.

Robin Williams
  We all know this man. He recently passed. But he was diagnosed to be suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a child. He became one of the most beloved well known actors.

Tom Cruise
I bet you didn't know he was very dyslexic. Which is a general term for disorders that involve difficulty in learning to read or interpret words, letters, and other symbols. But he is also a great actor who overcame his learning disability. 

Neale Donald Walsh
Before writing the Conversations With God series, He worked variously as a radio station program director, newspaper managing editor, and in marketing and public relations. But, in the early 1990s he suffered a series of crushing blows—a fire that destroyed all of his belongings, the break-up of his marriage, and a car accident that left him with a broken neck. Once recovered, but alone and unemployed, he was forced to live in a tent in Jackson Hot Springs, just outside Ashland, Oregon, collecting and recycling aluminium cans in order to eat. At the time, he thought his life had come to an end. Now.. He is very famous in the New Age community with many published books. I own a few of them myself actually. 

I am certain that (the few of you reading this blog) your lives are not nearly as complicated. And if they are, look to these stories of success as inspiration. There are so many people out there that struggle everyday. Each situation is unique in their own. But as you can see above.. They chose to overcome those obstacles and beat the odds. They chose to go after what they aspired to be. You might be having a bad day, financial hardships etc., but there is nothing that can't be overcome. All you need to start is a positive outlook... and a new thought. 
Good Luck!

Go Happify Yourself!

         I recently came across this website called Happify. I signed up for a membership (it was the only way to see what it offered). Basically the site is to help us get rid of our normal negative thinking, and habits. Step one of the process is depositing positive emotions into your "bank".  After you create your first post, you can make it public or private. Should you forgo making it private then the community on Happify can see your posts. Once you post, you will start to receive a certain amount of points. I imagine these will calculate your progress to happiness.

      **Some of the pluses of this site according to them, and what I have thus far witnessed is that it will help in reducing feelings of sadness and hopelessness, you'll start to feel better about your life, and also combat innate negative feelings. According to the site "Happify's activities and games are based on a decade's worth of cutting-edge research by psychologists and neuroscientists from leading academic institutions around the world. Our proprietary framework is designed to train your brain and help you build skills for lasting happiness—delivering effective and measurable results." 

        Even science is jumping on board and doing studies about what makes us thrive instead of what makes us fold. They understand the significance of positive studies rather than studies on all the negative stuff. According to Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania and a pioneer in the field says: "What thoughts, actions, and behaviors make us more productive at work, happier in our relationships, and more fulfilled at the end of the day? That is the focus of the field of positive psychology, often referred to as the science of happiness. Its goal? To investigate what makes us flourish." 

       So you see... we can retrain ourselves our minds to be positive thinking machines that can create a world of happiness within us. And, which in turn, will project outward so our reality begins to be what we want to create. Hence creating our own reality, but in positive ways.
Go check out the site! I know I told you it can be done.. but if science says it can then it must be true.

Good Luck!

Everything in Moderation....

              I am sure we have all heard the quote by Oscar Wilde: “Everything in moderation, including moderation.” Too much of anything, or not enough of something can be a bad thing, but when we moderate what we do or don't do it creates a balance in our lives. To me, balance just means that we are not pulled in one direction more than the other. For example, we may be internally driven (mind, health) or more externally driven (jobs, friends). But if we are able to stand firmly on our feet, and keep a clear head we can keep a healthier balance in our lives. But how do we balance our day to day lives when we are constantly being pulled in all directions?

Try these simple but effective steps and see how they work for you.

1. Recognize
Take a moment to recognize how you feel. It's important to be honest with yourself in this state. The only person you are cheating is yourself if you aren't.

2. Evaluate
Recognize if you are more driven by internal or external sources. Sometimes it helps to make a list.

3. Set a few goals
Use the list you made from the previous step, and make goals to correct or add to what you have evaluated that needs immediate attention.

4. Time management/Plan
Make a plan to schedule days or weeks in which you are going to start to balancing things.

5. Reflect
Think of when you had a goal in the past. Did it work? Why or why not? What can you do now to make it better?

6. Begin
Start to begin making new habits toward the new plans you made in the previous steps. If you can get yourself in the habit of looking at your list and starting each day with the new habits, eventually you will not have to think about it because it will be part of your daily routine.

**And if all else fails. Begin again every time you realize you went off track. It's never too late to start over. Even if you start over 100 times in a day. The effort will pay off.

Good Luck!