Why is it so hard to accept the "good stuff"?

“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

 

      I thought that I would address a question that has been on my mind lately, and I know we all ask ourselves it many times over. "Why do we find it so hard to accept the good stuff in our lives?" I had some time to spare this morning (which is very rare) as I am sitting in Starbucks eating a bagel and drinking an ice coffee. It's a beautiful day today. The air is crisp, and you can finally start to feel the "fall" version for Florida. Perfect morning to indulge, right...? Not really! I told myself two months ago that I would not drink coffee anymore because I knew that its after affects were not good for me. Yet, the instant gratification of the caramel iced goodness tempts me every morning. It has always been my "pick-me-up". That little bit of "oomph" to start my day. Unfortunately, by the time I am half way through my day.. I crash, get moody and put everything off that needs to be done because... I am just too tired. I am certain all of you have a similar story. I know that omitting coffee from my morning is beneficial. I did it for two months, and the results were apparent. But, why did I return to my morning habit knowing darn well it wasn't a good idea!?


      I'll tell you why. The resistance to change is in us all. We like familiarity, structure and routine; it makes us comfortable. When life throws us a curve ball we lose our sense of security and all seems lost. But, how do we embrace change with the path of least resistance and accept the goodness life has to offer us? We must learn to trust ourselves and be open to self-awareness. It's always easier to say "No" instead of saying "Yes", because saying yes makes us feel like we have committed to something we are actually unsure of.

      Although change causes most of us to be uncomfortable there are steps we can take that can help us with the inevitable constant in life we call Change.

Your Perception is "Your" Reality..

   I recently started following a blog called Deliberate Receiving. The woman who writes this blog is very insightful, and I relate to a lot of her blog posts. I think it's fair to say I relate to a lot of people who feel the same about the Law of Attraction, manifesting, and the like. Below is a photo I borrowed from her page. I think it does a great job illustrating how we perceive things the way we do; at least by the theory of creating our reality based off our perception anyway.


FLETCHER on OCTOBER 3, 2014


     Perception is a funny thing because we all have an idea of how we look at things. Each of us believe we know what is really going on. To some extent; we do. We take the information we are given, and extend our thoughts out there to make up what we "see". 

     According to Kendra Cherry Psychology Expert, "Perception is our sensory experience of the world around us and involves both the recognition of environmental stimuli and actions in response to these stimuli. Through the perceptual process, we gain information about properties and elements of the environment that are critical to our survival. Perception not only creates our experience of the world around us; it allows us to act within our environment."

     She goes on to discuss how there are stages to how we perceive our environment. The first being our 5 senses, and how they play a huge role in the perception process. An example would be a carnival. Let's say you arrive at a carnival, and you hear kids laughing and playing. You can smell the funnel cakes, you see the bright lights on the rides, you get to pet the animals at the petting zoo. You get the idea. You are perceiving things with your 5 senses. The next stage she talks about is the attended- stimulus. This is where we see that the line for a specific ride has shortened, and we take notice of it. Once we notice it, our brain begins to interpret the image. This stage is known as sensory transduction. Following this stage of perceiving, we then undergo what is called neural processing. This is where "a series of interconnect neurons located throughout the body, electrical signals are propagated from the receptors cells to the brain," according to Cherry. This stage is necessary in order for the following to occur. Where we now have the ability to become consciously aware of what it is we are actually seeing. It is very important because perception doesn't just allow us to be completely aware of what we are seeing, it is pertinent for our brain to give meaning to what it is we are seeing. Which is known as recognition. Finally, we are able to take action to what is we are seeing. For example, we could decide to stand in the shorter line at the carnival, walk away, etc. 

       Now that we have discussed the technical process of what it is to perceive; let's discuss briefly how "our" perception creates "our" reality. A great quote to illustrate where I am going with this is, "You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." --- James Allen

     As I have discussed previously in earlier blogs, we create our reality by our thoughts. Our mind is like a film projector and our eyes the lens in which we propel the images out into the world. Because of this; we are a product of our thoughts. If we think small, we achieve small. If we think big, we achieve big. And although we find this to be true; we still find ourselves going in opposite directions of what we want. Why? It is learned behavior, and until we understand this... we will continue on the path of much resistance.




Sources:

http://psychology.about.com/od/sensationandperception/ss/perceptproc.htm#step-heading

    

You say Tomato; I say Paradigm...

           I once heard a story from a man about an encounter he experienced on a subway one day. He said that another man boarded the subway, came on with his children, and he sat down. The children were running up and down the isle being absolutely loud and inconsiderate of the others riding. He thought to himself "Wow! He really needs to control his children. He's not even paying attention to them." Well after a short time he decided he was going to say something to the man about his children's behavior. Finally, he looks up and says "excuse me Sir, but your children are disturbing me and the others. Do you think you could get them to stop?" The man looks up and says, "Gee, I guess you're right I should probably say something, but we have been at the hospital all day, and their Mother died about an hour ago, and I don't think they know how to take it."

     WOW!!  Of course you can imagine how awful that man felt for what he had said. In that instant of learning why the man was not scolding his children; there was a shift in his paradigm. I am certain we have all experienced something very similar. We thought things about others only to discover that we really had no right to. And in learning what really was; instead of how WE saw it, our thoughts about the situation changed immediately. That is a paradigm shift. By definition:  it's a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.  We assume we know what is really going on around us, and perhaps there is some truth to what we "know", but it's always our perception, and sometimes, our perception is very far off. 

     I think the story above illustrates an excellent example of how it is so easy for us to assume we know what is "right". When in fact, it is our perception based off our experiences in life. It really is relative. You can take two people who were raised in the same home with the same experiences, same fairness, and see them later in life living totally different lives from one another. I'll use my brother and I for an example. We grew up exactly the same, but despite what we went through as children we look at life completely different from one another. We perceive things based on how we looked at the situations we grew up with.

    I have gone through many many things through out my life. Things a normal thirty year old should not have, and I am still very young, but people ask me all the time, "how do you do it, I could never do what you do especially without my family in the same state?" I reply the same thing every time... "Just because you can handle something; doesn't mean I can. And just because I can handle something; doesn't mean you can." I do it because I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. Otherwise, I'd be somewhere else. And I think that goes for everyone. :)
   

Sometimes; life really does get in the way.

    Lately I have been putting off till tomorrow what should be done today, and I know that it is really bad. It not only affects me on an emotional level, but it affects me on a physical level as well. It causes reactions to my actions or (lack of) actions. But I don't do it on purpose. It is one of the worst habits I have about me. PROCRASTINATION!! However, I truly think that sometimes life really does just get in the way, and procrastination is inevitable. 

      There are so many people and situations pulling us from left to right, and here and there. It's no wonder why we forget important things. Especially for me, being a single parent, working part time, and going to school full time I am hardly left for "me" time. Funny, because I do so much better when I allow myself to have that time, but the day ends before I know it, and it's already the next one.

      I think we can all relate that life just causes us to be put in situations that are not always favorable. Because of these inconveniences we really have to assess what is the most important, and prioritize accordingly. We need to develop habits that allow us to be effective, and not defective. You may be asking, "How do I develop effective habits?" Well, we must live by principles. Principles are the natural laws of the universe, and they also coincide with the law of attraction. By true definition: a principle is a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not, we must live by principles. For they are the foundation of living a good life.

If You are More Visual; This is for YOU!

             I previously wrote about a few simple tips to help you get started on manifesting your desires. There is another example I would like to share with you as well. Seeing as I am an artist; I am more of a visual, hands on kind of person; so this works best for me. I like that I can  "see" what it is I want, rather than just reading it. It's called a "Vision Board".

           A vision board, according to "makeavisionboard.com"  is a way to visually help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal or desire. Literally, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life. The idea here, is to get out scissors, glue, and magazines, and cut images and words that pertain to your desires. Once you have done that you can place them on your board to be displayed in your home; office; pretty much anywhere you can see the board on a regular bases. But don't fret; because we are always on our phones, and computers; you can also make one online. Vision Board Maker
So you needn't worry about cutting out images, and getting sticky with glue. :) 

Here are a few examples of vision boards others have made. Keep in mind... there is no right or wrong way to do this. It does not have to be shown to anyone. It does not have to be artistic. It can be whatever you want it to be. Remember, this is your board of desires. 


      

   
  

These are just a few of the thousands and thousands of images that I found to show you. There are all different kinds of ways to construct these. And yes! guys you can do it too. See pic above. ;) So go check out the site, and give it a try. There's nothing to lose; but everything to gain. Good Luck! :)

3 Tips to Get You Started.

              I recently read a blog about a few simple yet useful tips to use when applying the Law of Attraction in your life that I would like to share with you. The Law of Attraction, is simply manifesting your desires to fruition. The principles behind manifesting goes back thousands of years. Presently; and back to ancient Hindu practices. Every religion has, and is using some form of manifesting abilities. There is a book, that is one of my favorites that I would like you to check out should it fancy you. It's called ."What The Bleep Do We Know?!" It has a lot to do with quantum physics, but talks a lot about what I have already touched on. There is a little bit of religion, law of attraction, manifesting and a few other things that may help you understand the concept in a new light. There are many authors to this book, and they are all very high ranking scientists, and psychologists. Sometimes it takes us hearing it from people with "authority" to actually listen. In the mean time I invite you to take a look at a few simple techniques to  get you started. :)
 
*1. You must have CLARITY.
       It's safe to say that we all have an idea of what we want in life. But, we must be more clear on how we          put it out there. We can say that we want to be "successful"; but, we must describe what we actually              mean by being "successful". We need to DEFINE what it is to us to be successful. When we start to              think about those things we activate a vibrational frequency that puts those thoughts into movement.
*2. Write down your GOALS.
        According to Tony Brooks, Building Bridges. He says that Statistics prove that writing our goals is a            good habit to obtain. He says that committing goals to paper, and reviewing them on a regular basis, you        have a 95% higher chance of achieving your desired outcomes.
*3. Be THANKFUL.
      I know it may seem a little strange to be thankful for something that isn't physically in your presence. But,      you can count the things you are thankful for now. Being grateful is proven to make us happier. When we      learn to appreciate our current situations, we can then be open to receive more things to be grateful for.

This is for the Naysayers

        I recently read an interesting article by a guy that talks about why the law of attraction doesn't work for some. He says that it is not just about our intention to manifest what we want, but it's the energy that we put out that goes with the intention that makes it work. For instance, if we say we want a car, better health, a mansion, etc. That's fine and dandy, but where's the energy that is put into those wants? I once heard a joke about a man who asked God everyday. "God let me win the lottery" he asked this over and over. Finally, God speaks and says "my Son, go buy a ticket." We can't just sit around wishing and wanting. We must put energy into the things we want.
      The Law of Attraction is not meant to be taken as a Genie in a bottle granting your wishes. It doesn't work like that. What about kids? They are not born with doubt. We put the doubt in their minds. If they were not raised to believe they couldn't have what they wanted, they would always have it. But, even still; they are great at manifesting what they want anyway. They ask for it, and if they don't get it when they want it; they make a fuss until they get it. They not only have the intent to get it, they do what they have to to get it. And they put in the energy to get it.
     I am going to use an example from the author's article that I find to be a great way to look at the law of attraction and intent on manifesting in a way you might understand better. "Consider how electricity works.  The electrons are already sitting there in the wires of your home, and they start flowing when you flip a switch to complete the circuit, thereby creating a current and providing usable electrical power to your appliances.  Although the electrons as particles move at a fairly slow pace, the electric field moves at the speed of light, so your appliances turn on right away.

Your intentions work much the same way.  The energy is already there.  You just need to get the current flowing in the right direction.  And this has virtually nothing to do with the actual content of your intentions.  Electricity doesn’t care whether it’s powering a computer or a coffee maker, nor does intentional energy care whether you’re building a business or a bomb." 

I hope this makes you consider the concept of the Law of Attraction in a different more understanding way.